Sunday, February 17, 2008

What makes a good mom...

What makes a good mother? Some friends of mine came over on Saturday and as I was dealing with #1 trying to kick me in the face, putting him bum near my head, and just trying to grab attention my friend said to me, "You are such a good mom. You are always so happy with your children." I almost fell over at that moment. First off this woman happens to be one of those people who admire. One of those super moms who just always seems to be giving to all those around her. Secondly I know what is going on in my mind and I do not feel like a good mom and I often do not feel like I'm being happy enough with my children. All weekend now I've been contemplating this. Am I good mom? I want to be one but I know I could do better. I wish I didn't get so grouchy with my kids. I wish #1 would respond without threats and a raised voice. I wish I didn't look at #2 and think she's already got me beat. I do try though. I try to make sure our kids are safe. I try to make sure they are healthy. I try to make sure they are happy and most importantly I try to make sure they know they are loved. I guess the key is while I might have my doubts on the inside about my own abilities the kids are enjoying the stuff on the outside. I posted this picture because it just proves my point. I had been playing up in the kids room with them for over an hour and was just exhausted. For some reason that hour between four and five just kills me. So in my bored and exhausted state I threw myself on the floor and refused to budge. Of course #1 was not pleased and demanded my attention. Eureka it hit me. Ever since watching Peter Pan #1 has been obsessed with pirates and especially his treasures (a small treasure chest he got for valentine's day and his penny bank). I got some paper and crayons and drew a map of his room and put two giant red Xs on his paper to show where his treasures were. With all the coloring we ended up doing we spent a half hour and the kid was thrilled. To my son this map represents that his mother loves him. Is interested in the things he likes and is fun. To me it represents being to lazy to get up off the floor :)


Bridget said...

Hahahaha. I love the afternoon "playing in the room" times. Sometimes I can get away taking a book with me and Miriam will play by herself, with me sitting there. But the other day I realized I was busted because before we even sat down, Miriam said, "Mama, don't read a book!" Blast.

The map is a great idea!

Nancy said...

I think you're a wonderful mom! Although I understand what you mean about thoughts...sometimes a mom will come up to me in church and say how patient I am with Rachel and I'm like, "What are you talking about?" because in my head I am screaming. But I guess outside I am calm? I don't know how that works.

You always do such fun things with your kids and are such an attentive parent.

Actually both you and Bridget are two of my role models. If Rachel turns out like your toddlers, I'll be satisfied.

Rachel seems more like Grace though--not quite as "relaxed" as #1 or Miriam--so let me know how you handle that!